■
So I got my iPod working again, or rather my cousin did, so that's good. And Karav Maga is probably one of the best times of my week, except I'm convinced the guy is way too old for me. He's a "young man" as my mom puts it so hopefully under 25. Idk. He probably wouldn't want to be seen as a pedophile when he finds out I'm 14, when I look 17. Gosh 😳 And I know his name now.
But anyways yesterday I took someone to youth and I've been telling her about this super cute and just amazing guy at my youth who she knows I've been on and off crushing on. And he kept looking back and I swear it was at me and his arms were raised and stuff and she kept saying how cute he was and I thought okay I guess she agrees with me. But then later she went home and followed him on Instagram right away then she was telling me how he liked her photos right away and I spent like 30 minutes working to do something for her on Instagram and she just deleted the comment so he would think she was single. And she said how he was lookin at her in the gym and stuff and she said she's going to send him her number in a couple of weeks. That just maddens me 😭 like I love her so much but this guy I was into him and she's going to get him. She was supposed to help me get him not take him from me. The longest one of her crushes has lasted is like 6 weeks. I need to destroy the jealousy eating me.
This jealousy inside of me is like a monster, tearing apart my insides, stretching out my heart and messing with my soul.
Part of me wants to let her have him I mean if God has him meant for me well He'll come after me. Girls aren't supposed to do the pursuing anyways. Plus she might need him more than I do and we promised we wouldn't let a guy come inbetween us. So I won't... But it hurts. Now I'm not going to want to bring her on Fridays 😪
I was hoping the Karav Maga dude might be there to distract me from all of this but I won't see him until Monday night. I really like him but he's too old 😭 but he's perfect. And his name means, "Gift From God"
So happy Saturday :)
39 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!
~Emily
Karav Maga!
12:07am November 10th
I went to the movie Big Hero 6 today with one of my good friends, Natasha. :) It was a really good and hilarious movie, like all disney movies. I loved it. #HugeDisneyFan. I now have a new way to fist pound hahaha. Natasha and I had tons of fun as usual.
After that my Dad and I went to this Karav Maga practice lesson thing. It was amazing I learned all these positions and how to flip people and such. There were some pretty awkward postitions. There was this guy. He was around 18-20. I'm guessing 18. He was like 6'2, he had blue eyes and brown hair, his veins showed through this biceps and I'm pretty sure he had a 6 pack. He smiled at me a couple times and talked to me he was really sweet. And there was this one position called the "bearhug" where you bearhug your opponent and you have to get away. While I was unprepared, he came up to me and bearhugged me, the first day! I sat there shocked for like 5 seconds, because I have had no "hugging contact" or hugged any guy other than family for 7 years... It was crazy. I didn't want to hug any other guy because the last guy I hugged was my first crush and I kind of broke that cycle today. Which I guess I'm okay with because it's time to get over him. Anyways he kept giving me tips too. It'll be fun if he can be my opponent sometime. Super fun!
Anyways I'm super excited to learn how to fight, I'm already obsessing over learning how to do it right. :) If we commit to Karav Maga for a year, I hope I'll be ready for it. :)
God Bless<3,
Emily
Self Confidence
Everybody has been so depressed about how they look and their bodies, their weight, their pimples, their little imperfections. Even when they get compliments on their beauty, they just don't believe it. This has been driving me crazy.
One of my closest friends especially is constantly downing herself, and her self confidence has been really low. I personally and many others see her beauty and so badly want her to see it too. It drives me mad that she just doesn't see that she's beautiful, when beauty is written all over her face.
This just made me think, if it drives ME this crazy, imagine how it makes God feel. He's the greatest artist in the entire universe. He paints everything perfectly and everyone adores it and compliments it all. The ocean, the sky, the mountains, the sky, the animals. Everything about you, He put there deliberately. But imagine how He feels when, after everyone admires His perfect artwork, it turns to look at themselves and says, "No, I'm not beautiful". He worked 9 months to make you. You're his masterpiece and when He made you He was happy with the result. But when you aren't happy with how He designed you when He worked so hard to create you, can't you just imagine how much that breaks His heart? I would imagine a whole lot. He wants you to see it too, and be confident in how He made you.
"Song of Solomon 4:7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
God bless. <3
First Snow
Okay today there was the first real snow of the year, that'll stay until spring and I'm super happy. I'm getting into the Christmas spirit listening to Christmas Carols and all. I can't contain myself!!! Ah my cousin and I went to starbucks and I got a peppermint mocha to get into the spirit. I have a feeling this year I'm going to obsess over Christmas. <3
Yesterday my cousin and I had a Disney Marathon, and we watched Alladin. So my cousin stated about Alladin, "He has no nipples! I do!" But she didn't mean to say that she meant to say something else hahahhaha. I love her.
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas with every Christmas card I write may your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmas's be white." <3
P.S: Don't forget to put the "Christ" In Christmas. :)
I'm Emily
Hi Hatena Blog people, I don't exactly know what I'm doing or what I'm writing about but I guess this Is my introduction to this "blog" thing. As if anybody really cares to read it hahaha. These will be random thoughts or stories or poems or whatvever the heck I want to post about my life.
